THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC – This week, 2021 continued it’s “hold my beer and watch this” streak in prime form as representatives of the Austin Communist Party and Democratic Socialists advocated for conservative ideas in the face of Republican opposition.
At the center of the issue is Texas Republican House Representatives Craig Goldman and Will Metcalf’s HB1900, a bill that would penalize municipalities for defunding or reducing the personnel size of their police departments. The legislative freedom-fighters further wrote language in HB1900 bill allowing annexed areas within a defunding municipality to dis-annex themselves from that city. This would allow political prisoners, such the patriots in the Circle C and Anderson Mill neighborhoods, to escape the grasp of Austin’s Iron Curtain.
An additional bill in contention is Republican Rep. Giovanni Capriglione’s HB1925. This bill would prohibit camping in public areas statewide without the permission of the controlling officer or agency that manages the public place.
Notorious warlord of Austin’s Northeastern Autonomous Zone and Just For Men beard model, Gregorio Casar, told members of the Texas Committee on State Affairs that Austin’s reallocation of some funds away from police and into mental health services and housing and job aid was the right thing to do [13:12:00 video mark]. The comrade-for-life explained that bill HB1900 was an assault on local democracy and would reduce a city’s ability to manage it’s own public safety dollars. Casar additionally opposed HB1925, insisting it was wrong to criminalize poverty by banning camping in public places.
Republicans took to the podium to insist their support for the law-and-order bills and denounce Austin’s failed socialist experiments. Although many speakers took sidebars to emphasize their adamant demand to eliminate collective bargaining for officers, eliminate police pensions, eliminate their labor unions, silence their voice in the workplace, cut their wages, and hand over public police duties to for-profit corporations, the speakers insisted the need to support officers and attract the best police academy applicants.
Sadly, sales reps from Blackwater, Halliburton, DynCorp, and Triple Canopy were not on hand to discuss the merits of domestic, for-profit policing.
The new interim Chief of Austin’s Policia Revolocionaria Popular (APD) also took to the mic to voice his opposition to HB1900 [7:25:30]. The autodefensas Chief argued that reallocating money from the department did not impact services. The Chief disagreed with supporters of the bill who assumed police disagreed with the budget changes, saying he served on the committee that drafted proposed improvements to the department and fully supported the changes. He pointed to instituting mental health as an independent 911 response, creating an independent forensic department to boost public trust, training academy improvements to address underlying issues, and a reduced crime rate and positive customer service surveys as evidence that the police budgetary changes made positive improvements to public safety.
The Chief fired a shot across the Republican bow saying the bill was, “an overstep by the legislature. These decisions must be made at the local by our community when and to the degree needed to help build and maintain trust.” Upon cross examining by Rep. Lucio III (D-Brownsville), the Chief doubled-down on trying to roll Thomas Jefferson over in his grave by reiterating that local government issues should be resolved at the local government level.
Understandably, even Democratic committee members had it up to here [7:48:00 video mark] with Austin’s totalitarian nonsense. Rep Raymond (D-Laredo) said “had it not been for the actions of the Austin City Council I’m not sure we’d be here with this bill today.” Rep. Raymond quipped, “I find it really distasteful they sent a uniform up here. ” Rep. Raymond called it “chicken” for Austin politicians not to be present on such an important issue, prompting audience applause from Young Republicans or DSA revolutionaries (the exact applauding group could not be confirmed). Rep. Raymond implored Austin politicos to tell the committee how to improve HB1900 before they “missed the boat.” Rep. Raymond made it clear that Austin needed to “invest more in law enforcement, not less.”
The battle continued with wild-eyed Austin socialists, one after another, taking the podium to promote the fiscally-conservative benefits of local improvements to policing, such as reducing costly ER visits from drug overdoses, reducing payouts in use-of-force lawsuits, and providing the maximum public services at the most efficient cost.
One poor Marxist, apparently so confused by the day’s frenzied ideological battles that he identified himself as a Republican, told the Committee, “I see these bills as depriving the people of Texas of their right to local, self-government. This is contrary to everything the Republican party has stood for since Ronald Reagan.”
Seemingly unswayed by the small-government propaganda, the bill’s author, Rep. Goldman (R – Fort Worth), closed the conversation by saying, “when a city is not doing what we think they should be doing, then this is the opportunity for the State to come in and say ‘we think you should hire more officers, or more money should be spent on public safety'” [8:57:40].
After the Committee wrapped and people were filing out of the building, P&P stopped to interview a visibly bewildered man in the viewers gallery wearing a ’92 Bush/Quayle t-shirt. The man, a former political campaign strategist, described that since the 90’s he had been living off the grid in a remote area to escape politics. Curiosity got the best of him, and he decided to attended the Committee hearing today to see how things had changed in his 30-year absence.
The man astutely summed up the hearing by saying, “Jesus, I don’t have a clue what what I just saw today. I’ll see y’all in another 30.”